


in and out

by bvnnyboo



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: Angst, Babies, Established semi-relationship, M/M, i guess ??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-31 02:38:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10889937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bvnnyboo/pseuds/bvnnyboo
Summary: he tian:  kiss 100 boys*sees mo guan shan*he tian: kiss 1 boy, 100 timeshe tian has internally always been that loner type  and sometimes when the noise of the bubbly laughter from the sea of girls gets to be too much, he slips away. and he sees him. he sees red hair and he smiles to himself.





	in and out

mo guan shan acts like a such a hard-ass sometimes when he's shuffling around he tian's kitchen like a housemaid. he tian won't say he doesn't enjoy watching him in the quasi-environment he's wrapped himself in. he falls in love again when he watches mo guan shan stick the spoon out to him to taste whatever he's made. he tian's going to love it not only because he can't tell what's good or what's bad because he eats takeout like every day, but because he'll love whatever mo guan shan makes. because he really, really loves him. its in that moment he reaches over the spoon and places his hand on the back of mo guan shan's neck and lightly presses his lips against his. 

he leans back, staring and waiting for mo guan shan's reaction. guan shan is frozen and his ears are scarlet, he looks cute and he tian smirks. he takes the spoon into his mouth to taste what was originally being held out to him. 

"it's good as usual."

mo guan shan looks at him again, cheeks red and nostrils flared. "you're an asshole." he says, as he leans over the counter to kiss he tian again. and he tian falls even deeper.

xXx

its when mo guan shan is sitting in the back of the school, shaking with tears rolling down his pretty face, that he tian realizes he only wants him to feel love. he tian sits quietly next to him and slides his fingers in between the crevices of mo guan shan's. mo guan shan looks up at him, eyes ready to burst with a whole new round of tears. he tian squeezes his hand, softly.

"you don't have to say anything. i can sit here with you until you're ready to go. i'm here. for you."

mo guan shan releases the meekest sob he tian's ever heard and leans into his shoulder. and he tian almost lets a tear cascade down his own face from the obvious pain his pretty redhead's in. he kisses the top of his head and mo guan shan continues to cry in the most heartbreaking way possible. silently.

xXx

the first time mo guan shan invites him over, he tian's heart leaps out of his chest. he's so, so, so in love. its the most passive way to ask someone over like he's done this before. he tian knows he hasn't, and he imagines mo guan shan practicing these lines over and over again in the mirror. he tian agrees and mo guan shan gives him a small smile and wishes him a see you later. 

he tian's heart flutters rapidly as he mulls over what played out between him and mo guan shan earlier that morning. he couldn't look him in the eye, he tian remembers. it makes he tian smirk and look towards the window.

they ride the train together in silence, neither knowing what to say. their hands brush over each other almost 4 times before he tian takes it upon himself to grab his hand. mo guan shan's ears are red and his cheeks are burning. he tian can't feel anything but helpless when he looks at him. mo guan shan grips his hand a bit more firmly, still refusing to look at the taller boy.

xXx

"what do you mean you aren't coming to school today? neither am i, where are you?" mo guan shan hand's slide up and down the straps of his pale orange backpack as he listens to he tian's weak response from the other side. 

"...you could've called me, he tian. don't you always call me for stuff like this?" mo guan shan makes a complete u-turn from his original route to school to go to he tian.

he tian has been sick with the flu for a couple days, mo guan shan realizes when he finally arrives. he's been hiding it pretty well too and it aggravates mo guan shan to no end. he tian is relieved that he gets to see guan shan today and does everything he asks him with no hesitation or playful banter.

mo guan shan's stomach churns because its not like him at all, he wants him to joke around with him like he usually does. mo guan shan makes a promise to himself to never let he tian get this sick again. 

he tian is sleeping when mo guan shan re-enters the bedroom portion of his apartment. he sighs, placing the hot towel on his forehead and the bottle of water on his nightstand. mo guan shan gets up to leave and he tian weakly touches his arm. mo guan shan looks back to see he tian's tired eyes, struggling to stay open.

"go to sleep already, dumbass." mo guan shan says, taking a hold of his hand.

"...you're...going to stay, right?" mo guan shan blinks in surprise at his bold statement. he tian is never this open with his feelings.

"do you want me to?" he asks, still holding his hand. 

"i always want you to stay." he tian mumbles.

mo guan shan's heart skips a beat and he nods slowly. he tian's eyes flutter closed and mo guan shan lets go of his hand. mo guan shan double vows to never let he tian get sick again, he doesn't think he can handle it.

xXx

"mo guan shan? i'm home!" 

mo guan shan eyes bug out of the sockets and he pushes he tian off him with enough force to knock him down. mo guan shan quickly begins to toss he tian's clothes at him. he stuffs on his shirt and pulls his boxers completely over his butt.

"shit, shit, shit!" mo guan shan whispers to himself. "you fucking distracted me!" 

he tian laughs softly shrugging on his shirt and mo guan shan throws him a dirty look. 

"ah, don't be mad, mountain~" mo guan shan doesn't turn to look at him as he goes for the door.

"do not leave this room, i will tell you when to come out." 

he tian sits for what feels like hours on mo guan shan's bed. his initial reason for coming over was to "study" but he couldn't focus and one thing led to another. mo guan shan's red hair was soft between his fingers and his mouth was so pretty. it was like an addiction, the way he yearned to see mo guan shan everyday. he was his walking cigarette and he craved for him to touch his lips every single day. 

"he tian." his eyes flutter open and mo guan shan stands awkwardly in the doorway. "my mom...wants to meet you."  

he tian sits up in surprise, almost too fast he gets dizzy, but he's happy. because mo guan shan trusts him, and that's all that matters.

mo guan shan is walking him out and they stand outside the door for awhile. 

"so...i see where you learned how to coo-"

"let's just fucking date already, he tian." mo guan shan's ears are scarlet and he is looking he tian dead in his eyes. it shocks he tian for a moment, completely throwing him off. its completely silent for a moment.

"is...is that what you want, red?" mo guan shan fidgets, now refusing to look at he tian's face. 

"i suggested it, didn't i?" he tian smirks to himself and places his fingers on mo guan shan's chin. 

"i'd like that." he kisses slowly him in that dark hallway, and mo guan shan's arms go to wrap around he tian's neck.

xXx

they're laying on he tian's bed saying the stupidest shit when he tian tells mo guan shan he loves him. the room goes still and he tian regrets opening his mouth. he can't take it back now, but he wishes he could choose a better time, a better place, a better him. 

he feels the bed shift as mo guan shan sits up on the mattress. he tian's heart breaks because he wants everything but guan shan leaving. punch him, stab him, kiss him; anything but leave. the city lights cast a shadow on mo guan shan's bare back, making him look illusive and magical. he tian doesn't move, scared to break mo guan shan's train of thought. 

"i-"

"you don't have to say anything, mountain. i'm sorry."

"i am, just...let me think." mo guan shan is still looking forward. he's pushed his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. "just...listen."

he tian inhales slightly, waiting on the words that could possibly make his whole world collapse. he tian's never felt so dependent on someone before.

"i love you, too, asshole." mo guan shan murmurs into his knees and he tian almost falls apart. 

he pulls mo guan shan back down and kisses his face. mo guan shan is happy and laughing. his laugh reminds he tian of fairy dust and pixies. he tian's never believed in fairy tales, but sometimes with mo guan shan, he feels like he's in one.

and he falls in love again, and again, and again.

**Author's Note:**

> hit me up on tumblr @blogger-tears  
> my writing blog is @zahwrites but i'm contemplating on whether i'm gonna post this there


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